Something I Can Never Have
by HoneyHoney333
Summary: Matilda is in love with Ivan, and prom is just around the corner! I'm sure what happens is going to be a total shock to everyone, Right? ;D


Chapter 1

Matilda Williams was completely in love with Ivan Braginsky. He was one of her close friends and one of the most gorgeous boys she'd ever seen. On the darkest, rainiest day Ivan is her sun, illuminating her world. But, Sadly, He's one of the many things Matilda can never have. For many reasons, actually, one being Matilda's extremely shy nature. Another being Natalia Braginsky, his sister who's been in love with him their entire lives. And the fact that Matilda had a…problem. Due to her severe shyness, lack of friends, and emotionally abusive family, she had started cutting herself. Now why would Ivan want someone as messed up as her when he could have anyone he wanted? That's what she told herself, at least. All of this was weighing heavily on her mind one windy September day, When one of the extremely annoying prom flyers flew across her face as she was walking to school. Bending down to crumple it up and throw it into a garbage can she sighed as her sleeve slid up her arm barely revealing small silvery-white scars. '_Good thing no one would ever ask me to prom anyway or I'd have to find a way to hide those' _she thought, walking inside their high school, Hetalia High.

For first period she had biology with Ivan. It was one class where she could see her crush without Natalia staring her down, making conversation almost impossible. As she walked through the hallways trying not to get knocked over by any of the other students she smoothed out her new red turtleneck and tried one last time to tuck her one stubborn curl behind her ear. Today she decided to try something new. She was going to try and flirt with Ivan. Even though she knew this "plan" was going to fail miserably her friend Katyusha insisted it was going to be perfect. They had even worked on her outfit the previous day. A new red sweater, dark jeans, and little red ballet flats that matched the sweater. She also tried extra hard to get her long wavy blonde hair to cooperate this morning, which looked fantastic despite the rebellious curl. Deciding that she had to go into the classroom eventually she stopped pulling at her sweater and walked inside. Immediately Ivan noticed the blonde beauty and gave her a warm smile, "Hello, Matilda. You look beautiful today, Any special occasion?". She blushed deeply and stared at her biology text book a moment before replying, "T-thanks, Ivan. No special occasion, I just…decided to dress up a little today, You like it?". He looked her up and down again while Matilda's blush deepened and she fidgeted with her purse, "Yes, You look beautiful, Though I've always thought that" he said with a wink. '_Oh my god! This is actually working…OHMYGOD he just WINKED, I think I'm going to faint!' _she thought, then quickly took her seat next to Ivan because her legs were about to fail her. "I-Ivan, That's really sweet…" she said while setting her books down on the lab table. Suddenly Matilda noticed Amber, the head of Prom Committee, passing out brightly colored flyers. She and Ivan looked with slight interest and watched as Amber finally got to their lab table with the mystery paper. It ended up being a reminder that prom was being held in the ballroom of the Golden Flower, an extremely fancy hotel that was located somewhat near the school, December 3rd. The two picked up the papers and reading them quickly. "Matilda…." Ivan said. "Hmm?" she answered quickly. '_Wait…He isn't going to ask me to the prom… Is he? OHMYGOD! What if he is! But, why would he was to go with me? Almost every girl in this school would love to go with him, Why me? No, I bet he's just going to ask me when our next test is, there's no way he'd want to go to the prom with me, I better not get my hopes up' _All these thoughts ran through Matilda's head at a frightening speed, she was already doubting herself and nothing had even happened yet! She realized that Ivan was saying something to her when she looked back up at him (even sitting down Ivan was quite a bit taller than her so she had to look up). "Oh, Ivan, I'm sorry I was sort of spacing out. What did you say?" she apologized. "It's okay", he said with a sweet smile, "I was asking you if you were going with anyone to the prom?". '_WHAT? Oh. My. God. He's going to ask me! Wait. No. What if he doesn't actually ask me he was just saying that randomly, I really don't need to get my hopes up'_. "Oh, Um, No. No one's asked me yet…..Why?" she questioned. He laughed nervously, "No reason really. Err…I just thought someone might have. Anyway, I did want to ask you - _'AHHH! HE IS GOING TO ASK!' - _if you wanted to hang out this weekend?" He asked smiling again, all nervousness disappeared from his handsome face. She blushed once again and tried to cover her disappointment with a smile, because really she was happy. If all he wanted to do was hang out Matilda would take that, it was a chance to be around him alone (she hoped) and to get away from her family for a little while. "Of course, I'd love to!" she answered, then realizing that sounded a little too eager she added, "Are you inviting other people as well?". The nervousness crept across Ivan's face once again but Matilda didn't noticed when he replied, "No, I just thought it'd be nice to hang out just the two of us, if you're okay with that?". Her heart skipped a beat, until now she didn't realize how fast it was beating since she walked in the room! "Y-Yeah, That sounds great." she said messing with the straps on her purse. All of a sudden the bell rang and their teacher Mrs. Hayes walked in writing something about DNA on the board. She and Ivan looked ahead and tried to pay attention for the next hour of class.

An hour later the bell rang and Matilda closed her text book and stacked her things together. She looked over at Ivan noticing him do the same. "I guess I'll see you 3rd period, Ivan.", she smiled. "Yes, I'm looking forward to it", he replied. Her heart stopped for a few beats, '_I don't know what I'm going to do this weekend if my heart stops beating every time he talks to me!'._ Scooping up her books and putting her purse over her shoulder she stood up and said one last "bye" to Ivan, making her heart flutter again. Her next class was American Government and she sat down in her desk at the back of the room with Katyusha preparing to tell her all about what had happened in biology. But as she took out a pencil from her purse she noticed a foreign piece of paper there. She took it out and read it, trying to avoid the curious gaze of her friend. It read:

I didn't have time to tell you where or when exactly we were meeting this weekend, Mrs. Hayes sort of interrupted before I had the chance. Anyway, Meet me at my house Saturday at around 2 and we'll watch a movie and hang out, I need to talk to you about something.

I hope you didn't mind me slipping this in your purse. -Ivan 3

She blushed for what seemed like the millionth time that day and folded the paper back up. Katyusha looked at her friend with a smile and a look that said You'd -Better -Explain -This -Later, since the teacher had come in and started his lesson sometime while Matilda was inspecting the note. Matilda turned to face the teacher and Katyusha did the same and class went on as usual. Trying to listen to the teacher was futile at this point, she was too excited, and soon she was lost in her thoughts. '_His house…Oh god… I've only been to his house once and it was to drop off some homework! This is either my dream come true or a nightmare waiting to happen. I wonder if his parents won't like me, wait, I'm acting like this is a date when clearly it isn't. But what is the "something" he wants to talk to me about! Oh no. What if he wants to talk to me about asking Katyusha out or something! I think I'd die. Oh, please don't let that be it! It can't be that. Let me think about what it could be. We were sitting in the classroom, Talking, Amber came by- WAIT! What if he wants to ask me to the prom! Okay, No, That can't be it. I seriously need to let this whole prom thing go. All I have to do is wait 5 more days and I'll find out what he wants to talk about'._ At this point Matilda decided she'd better snap out of it and start taking notes or she was going to fail 12th grade American Government.

It was going to be a very long 5 days filled with Matilda wondering just what Ivan wanted to talk about, but she'd make it. Little did she know that she was finally about to get something that she'd always thought she couldn't have.


End file.
